journaling

i journal.

writing my thoughts and emotions down helps me to process and hopefully better understand what is going on in my own head. many times God even speaks directly to me through what I am writing down. (which is crazy cool--but let's face it God is amazing)

I also really like journaling because I can go back and read things I was struggling with or revelations I have had and visibly see how much the Lord has grown me. i can visibly see how far he has brought me. It is awesome to see an entry that when it was written was so full of heartache and/or confusion but now as I look back I have an overwhelming sense of peace and confidence in the Lord because he has brought me through that circumstance and taught me through those thoughts.

He is so good. and the things that weigh so heavily on us today...when they are handed over to the Lord He is faithful to heal us. and teach us. even if at the time the weight is still felt. the pain is still fresh. God has taught me over and over again that He is greater and these things that hold so much meaning to us now will eventually cease to hurt. not because the significance of the events, thoughts, circumstances has faded but because God comes in and heals. Because He is greater.

there is a song by Chris Tomlin called "Our God is Greater" and the lyrics say:

"Our God is greater Our God is stronger.
God you are higher than any other.
Our God is healer. Awesome in power.
Our God Our God"

hmmmmm. i could just sing that all day long. God is in control. He is bigger than our circumstances and He is bigger than our hurt. Knowing and living in that truth does not mean your circumstance or hurt no longer matter...it means that you understand who matters more. and who is weeping and hurting with you. He is greater. He is healer and awesome in power.

I want to live my life walking in that truth.

here is a journal entry from last march 2009. a year ago. i am a completely different person. oh praise Him. and i hope that each year until I die I grow in the Lord. I never want to stop changing and becoming more like Jesus.

March 15, 2009

Honestly my plans for the future are just not happening for me right now.
They are not. And I have to accept that and live with it.
Not dwell on it.
Not ponder it.
Not try and figure it out because honestly it has little to do with me and who I am.
Because I am precious I am fearfully and wonderfully made. So. I wait. I wait upon the Lord I wait upon the Lord. Not in a manner of unquenchable anticipation where I am just looking around the corner. I am waiting and living and breathing and searching and enjoying life because God is alive and He is alive in me. That is the reason I live that is the reason I am here.
It is for his glory.
That’s it.
For his glory.
My worth is determined by Christ and his love Not by other’s words, decisions or opinions.



God has taught me peace. doesn't mean i always rest in it. he has taught me that my worth is found in Him and not in other people. my worth is not found even in good things like friends or a ministry. my worth is founded on Christ alone. this is a crazy concept for me. even if it seems like a duh to you. God is still teaching me. and i am glad of that.

hope you were encouraged.

i love you (whoever you are)