real life?...excuse me

so i have begun an internship/job shadow extravaganza at Little Rock Soiree magazine.

It is crazy. fun. busy. and weird.

i sit at a desk. do research. write blurbs. call people. have my own "business email" and "phone extension"....it IS just and internship and i am just doing a lot of research/calling BUT it is just kind of a wake up call being around "real" adults and "real" life.

now obviously it's not weird like "oh grown ups are so different," it's weird like "i am going to have to decide if i want to be here, in this kind of place, with this type of job in one year!!!!"

it's fine.

if i get an actual job i'll make money but do i want to do this for my life? or let's go smaller do i want to, can i do this type of work for a year? two years?----the answer is:

I have no flipping idea!!!!

i don't know if i'm cut out for this 9 to 5 thing. i think unless it was like ministry like mixing it up with people everyday i would get bored really fast .

so in this aspect of wondering and questioning this internship/shadowing is THE BOMB because it's causing me to really think about what i want to do with my future. because let's be honest---i'm a good worker, good people skills, i can write, and i'll have a college degree---i might not be able to find the best job but i'm sure i could find something (if the economy does not continue to freak)

but as i freak (much like the economy) i remember what God told Jeremiah---"For i know the plans i have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a FUTURE!"--29:11

as crazy as my life gets (and it has had it moments) God is still there--in control. even when it doesn't feel like it or look like it, even when we don't believe it.

so what i'm getting at is i am wondering a LOT about what i am going to do with my life--job, grad school, teach, missions, ministry---and as i dream and imagine God is just smiling knowing that what He has for me is perfect. because in the proverbs it talks about "many are the plans in a man's heart but it's the Lord's purpose that prevails"

so as i dream and as i seek the Lord I know his plan will be put in action through my decisions and my actions...will i mess up absolutely...will it be easy HECK NO

but it will be the best adventure ever.

and let's be honest: that's exactly what i'm looking for---an adventure.

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