tia--this is africa

so it's friday night...my friend tabitha and I are like, "let's watch a movie tonight." so naturally we begin discussing the options and almost immediately i say, "let's watch blood diamond. I still haven't seen it yet!" and i had really been wanting to see it.

tabby is equally pumped even though we both realize this is a heavy movie to be watching on a friday night.

but we dive in. and go to "the movie room" as tabby calls it aka the study lounge with a t.v. (hahaha yes we are funny)

we start it and i am immediately intrigued by one of the main characters Solomon as he wakes up in his family hut and takes his son to school. God has really placed Africa on my heart. and I am planning on going over there after I graduate. I'm not sure for how long but I know I have to go. those are the words God has given me, "you have to go."

so because of the heart God has given me for Africa i was really excited about the theatrical representation i was now participating in (hahaha man why do english majors use such large words)

BUT if you seen it you know what is coming...oh yeah.

from down the road this huge caravan of rebels comes with guns in their hands, blasting rap music. (yeah go american culture) and there is an immediate panic in the village. Solomon and his son Dia start running towards their family hut. I'm thinking oh the rebels are going to take the men---um sortra...they just start shooting people.

everyone.

they don't stop. women and children. people are screaming. then the trucks stop, the rebels get out and little boys are with them. the boys start shooting people, killing them. and i am in shock. i want to cry but something is caught in my chest that screams, "STOP! JUST STOP THIS!" and my heart hurts. my mind races. "oh it's just a movie." no no it's not JUST a movie this actually happened. and is still happening.




needless to say we watched the movie. and it was a great movie. powerful. but only powerful if it causes people to act.

but just like jennifer conley and leonardo decaprio (yeah they were there too) discuss later in the film---what are you really going to do? you can write about it, you can feed people, but really what is going to stop all of this...a huge question.

and honestly---it will never completely stop---not until Jesus returns. but then what are we supposed to do? just sit back because well we can't change the whole world! BUT we can influence a part of it. we can love people. we can live for others, for the Kingdom.

my heart knows that if only ONE person benefits from my going to Africa: that is all that matters. that one person is enough. as long as Jesus' name is remembered.

just like the parable of the lost sheep. he leaves all the others to find one sheep. the lost coin he searches the whole house!!! for ONE COIN!!!

people are precious. and are worth it. those children in africa are worth it---and i am going to go.

i am fearfully and wonderfully made

ok sit back relax and check this out:

we tell people things all of the time...(examples):

1. you look great today.
2. you're amazing.
3. i love you
4. thank you for being there for me.
5. i miss you.
6. you're the best.
7. God loves you.
8. you rock.

ok well that is a select few and might only be limited to my own personal vocabulary
BUT
we give and give and give to others...but how many times do we sit back and soak in
what God says to us? about us?

for me--i give and give and give then have given so much there is little of me left!!!
and so i do not take the time to commune, meditate, and just be with my savior, my creator.

so today i urge you. if you are like me and find yourself to have given so much you've forgotten your own heart--
take time for you. because you're worth it. we're worth it. i'm worth it.
say that out loud to yourself. because it's true. and i'll have to say that to myself when i don't believe it
and i pray that you say it out loud to yourself when satan begins to tug at you--when you let satan tug at you.

don't believe the lies that satan feeds you. he wants you weak. he wants you sad. he wants you to not be able to
make a difference DON'T LET HIM! fight for your freedom! fight for the promise Jesus DIED FOR!!!!

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.
I came that they may have LIFE and have it abundantly."
JOHN 10:10

Jesus isn't talking about a sweet little life. he isn't talking about a lazy sit at home and think about me, myself and I life
HE IS TALKING ABOUT THE GREATEST FREEDOM, THE GREATEST GIFT, THE GREATEST ABUNDANCE IN THE WORLD!
the reason we were created! THAT is what Jesus is about,THAT is what satan wants to steal AND THAT is what we need
to be telling the world about!!! not that they are going to hell, not that they want to get to heaven....but that there is an opportunity for abundant life! this side of eternity and the next.

that is why i fight satan and that is why i will tell myself that i am fearfully and wonderfully made! because he who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.1 John 4:4

love and kisses from my searching heart to yours
may all of your wanderings lead you back to the one
who made your heart.

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