"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5
God's greatest commandment of His people is to love Him with everything we have...your heart, soul, strength, some versions have mind...alright great i got it!!!
But it hit me (hard) last night when I was reading 'lady in waiting' . that we must love God even with our emotions.
Now some of you maybe be thinking, um duh. But even though I'm pretty sure I knew that I'm supposed to love God with my emotions it just never really resonated with me the way it did last night. Every response, every thought MUST be taken captive in Christ. When I'm sad, frustrated, scared I MUST CALL THOSE EMOTIONS TO THE OBEDIENCE OF CHRIST AND HIS HOLY SPIRIT.
i think too much. so many times (most times) my mind just runs, runs wild. and most time i give into those feelings of hopelessness or depression, of fear (i gave in even as i prayed, letting those emotions control my prayers) BUT what i realized last night---God wants me to love Him with those emotional parts of me... just as much as He wants me to love Him with my heart. He wants me to love Him with my emotions, with my responses and my attitude. (so as i pray through hard situations, i do not deny those feelings but i intrust those feelings to God knowing He is supremely in control...i DO NOT diminish emotion i just realize God is there comforting me)
now does this mean that i'll always be happy happy go lucky NO. i hate this misconception that as a Christian you're supposed to be HAPPY-EVERYTHING-IN MY LIFE IS GREAT all of the time. that is not reality. and news flash there's a difference between happiness and joy.
there WILL BE HARD TIMES! Paul guaranteed us this. But in the midst of this as we honor and LOVE the Lord will all of our heart, mind, soul, strength, AND emotions--through this we can find the hope to carry on. Carry on towards a goal, the greatest goal, which is Jesus: becoming more like Him, loving others like He loved us, and spreading His word to the nations.
THAT is what drives me. not being happy or having a good feeling or wanting a spiritual experience. NO Christ and His love drive me...because I know that in Him true joy is found, and an eternal purpose is realized.
"Do not set your hearts on the world or what is in it. Anyone who loves the world does not love the Father. Everything in the world, all that panders to the appetites or entices the eyes, all the arrogance based on wealth, these spring not from the Father but from the world. That world will all its allurements is passing away, but those who do God’s will remain for ever." I john 2:15-17
love and kisses
i pray you've been encouraged, whoever you may be.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
summer time
i usually (well for the past 4 summers) have worked at a christian summer camp called Brookhill Ranch. I have been going there since I was in 3rd grade and this is the first summer I will not be. (that is horrible syntax but you get the point)
as you can guess Brookhill, the staff and the campers have been a HUGE part of my life, not only as I was growing up but also as a teenager and young college student.
I was an all summer staff member for 4 years and during that time I had the opportunity to serve in a full time ministry, be under intense mentoring, and love kids as I followed Jesus. That experience has made me who I am today. So in many ways deciding not to return to camp is like closing a huge chapter of my life and opening a new one; actually it's more like finishing a volume of a large collection of books, setting it aside and going onto the next volume.
So as you can see camp has been kind of a big of a deal to me in many ways.
But even as I write this and look at the facebook pictures of campers, I know I am in the right place. I have such a limited vision for my life sometimes that all I see is what I am missing out on this summer, but what I don't see (right away) is how God's preparing me for the rest of my life through the time He's given me this summer.
I have precious time to study God's word, to pray for the staff at camp and the campers; I have time to spend with my family and time to grow patience through my summer job (babysitting ;) ). Time is something I have not had much of since I was in high school. So the idea that time is a blessing has taken some getting used to. Time to me used to be a lull in between weekend adventures at school or a preparation time to switch over from one big event to the next big event in my life. I realized that since I have been 16 years old there has never been a large span of time (aka 3.5 months) to literally do "nothing".
At first this down time was seen as unproductive nothingness. I felt weird having "nothing" to do. But in reality I had plenty to do it was just nothing "exciting" or so I thought. I have been so used to BIG THINGS and BIG TASKS and GO GO GO that I had forgotten how to just enjoy life in the day to day, over all I was very discontented with how my summer was looking.
I knew that I had to learn to find joy, contentment and purpose in my day to day life, because let's face it life is usually more "normal" than living big event to big event to big event.
I am still learning all of this and I will be learning new ways to find joy and contentment in the Lord and His plan for my life and day to day for the REST of my life BUT now that I recognize this need in my heart I can take this first big step towards growth.
hopefully all of my rambling has been a blessing to you (whoever you may be)
and i pray that as you go on your faith journey that you remain open to God's voice--that you're open to change and that you're open to an adventure with Him: Whether that adventure is stepping out of something/somewhere you love or into something/somewhere you're afraid of.
love and kisses
IN HIS GRASP <><
as you can guess Brookhill, the staff and the campers have been a HUGE part of my life, not only as I was growing up but also as a teenager and young college student.
I was an all summer staff member for 4 years and during that time I had the opportunity to serve in a full time ministry, be under intense mentoring, and love kids as I followed Jesus. That experience has made me who I am today. So in many ways deciding not to return to camp is like closing a huge chapter of my life and opening a new one; actually it's more like finishing a volume of a large collection of books, setting it aside and going onto the next volume.
So as you can see camp has been kind of a big of a deal to me in many ways.
But even as I write this and look at the facebook pictures of campers, I know I am in the right place. I have such a limited vision for my life sometimes that all I see is what I am missing out on this summer, but what I don't see (right away) is how God's preparing me for the rest of my life through the time He's given me this summer.
I have precious time to study God's word, to pray for the staff at camp and the campers; I have time to spend with my family and time to grow patience through my summer job (babysitting ;) ). Time is something I have not had much of since I was in high school. So the idea that time is a blessing has taken some getting used to. Time to me used to be a lull in between weekend adventures at school or a preparation time to switch over from one big event to the next big event in my life. I realized that since I have been 16 years old there has never been a large span of time (aka 3.5 months) to literally do "nothing".
At first this down time was seen as unproductive nothingness. I felt weird having "nothing" to do. But in reality I had plenty to do it was just nothing "exciting" or so I thought. I have been so used to BIG THINGS and BIG TASKS and GO GO GO that I had forgotten how to just enjoy life in the day to day, over all I was very discontented with how my summer was looking.
I knew that I had to learn to find joy, contentment and purpose in my day to day life, because let's face it life is usually more "normal" than living big event to big event to big event.
I am still learning all of this and I will be learning new ways to find joy and contentment in the Lord and His plan for my life and day to day for the REST of my life BUT now that I recognize this need in my heart I can take this first big step towards growth.
hopefully all of my rambling has been a blessing to you (whoever you may be)
and i pray that as you go on your faith journey that you remain open to God's voice--that you're open to change and that you're open to an adventure with Him: Whether that adventure is stepping out of something/somewhere you love or into something/somewhere you're afraid of.
love and kisses
IN HIS GRASP <><
Thursday, May 14, 2009
real life?...excuse me
so i have begun an internship/job shadow extravaganza at Little Rock Soiree magazine.
It is crazy. fun. busy. and weird.
i sit at a desk. do research. write blurbs. call people. have my own "business email" and "phone extension"....it IS just and internship and i am just doing a lot of research/calling BUT it is just kind of a wake up call being around "real" adults and "real" life.
now obviously it's not weird like "oh grown ups are so different," it's weird like "i am going to have to decide if i want to be here, in this kind of place, with this type of job in one year!!!!"
it's fine.
if i get an actual job i'll make money but do i want to do this for my life? or let's go smaller do i want to, can i do this type of work for a year? two years?----the answer is:
I have no flipping idea!!!!
i don't know if i'm cut out for this 9 to 5 thing. i think unless it was like ministry like mixing it up with people everyday i would get bored really fast .
so in this aspect of wondering and questioning this internship/shadowing is THE BOMB because it's causing me to really think about what i want to do with my future. because let's be honest---i'm a good worker, good people skills, i can write, and i'll have a college degree---i might not be able to find the best job but i'm sure i could find something (if the economy does not continue to freak)
but as i freak (much like the economy) i remember what God told Jeremiah---"For i know the plans i have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a FUTURE!"--29:11
as crazy as my life gets (and it has had it moments) God is still there--in control. even when it doesn't feel like it or look like it, even when we don't believe it.
so what i'm getting at is i am wondering a LOT about what i am going to do with my life--job, grad school, teach, missions, ministry---and as i dream and imagine God is just smiling knowing that what He has for me is perfect. because in the proverbs it talks about "many are the plans in a man's heart but it's the Lord's purpose that prevails"
so as i dream and as i seek the Lord I know his plan will be put in action through my decisions and my actions...will i mess up absolutely...will it be easy HECK NO
but it will be the best adventure ever.
and let's be honest: that's exactly what i'm looking for---an adventure.
<><
It is crazy. fun. busy. and weird.
i sit at a desk. do research. write blurbs. call people. have my own "business email" and "phone extension"....it IS just and internship and i am just doing a lot of research/calling BUT it is just kind of a wake up call being around "real" adults and "real" life.
now obviously it's not weird like "oh grown ups are so different," it's weird like "i am going to have to decide if i want to be here, in this kind of place, with this type of job in one year!!!!"
it's fine.
if i get an actual job i'll make money but do i want to do this for my life? or let's go smaller do i want to, can i do this type of work for a year? two years?----the answer is:
I have no flipping idea!!!!
i don't know if i'm cut out for this 9 to 5 thing. i think unless it was like ministry like mixing it up with people everyday i would get bored really fast .
so in this aspect of wondering and questioning this internship/shadowing is THE BOMB because it's causing me to really think about what i want to do with my future. because let's be honest---i'm a good worker, good people skills, i can write, and i'll have a college degree---i might not be able to find the best job but i'm sure i could find something (if the economy does not continue to freak)
but as i freak (much like the economy) i remember what God told Jeremiah---"For i know the plans i have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a FUTURE!"--29:11
as crazy as my life gets (and it has had it moments) God is still there--in control. even when it doesn't feel like it or look like it, even when we don't believe it.
so what i'm getting at is i am wondering a LOT about what i am going to do with my life--job, grad school, teach, missions, ministry---and as i dream and imagine God is just smiling knowing that what He has for me is perfect. because in the proverbs it talks about "many are the plans in a man's heart but it's the Lord's purpose that prevails"
so as i dream and as i seek the Lord I know his plan will be put in action through my decisions and my actions...will i mess up absolutely...will it be easy HECK NO
but it will be the best adventure ever.
and let's be honest: that's exactly what i'm looking for---an adventure.
<><
Thursday, April 2, 2009
dreams infused with boredom
so there's this cool site i discovered through facebook where you can make collages with online photos
or you own digital ones---naturally i went crazy obsessive and have already made two collages
one is displayed here and it shows some of the places i'd like to travel!!! some i've already been to, others i am planning to go soon (hopefully)--some are closer than others, but each reflect God's beauty and creativity in a uniquely awesome way.
love love
(from top left to right: Paris, India, Egypt, Scotland, Africa, Austria, Australia, Russia, Ozark Mountains AR,
snowy Vermont, NYC, Korea)
here's the site if you'd like to join in the creativity: http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php
or you own digital ones---naturally i went crazy obsessive and have already made two collages
one is displayed here and it shows some of the places i'd like to travel!!! some i've already been to, others i am planning to go soon (hopefully)--some are closer than others, but each reflect God's beauty and creativity in a uniquely awesome way.
love love
(from top left to right: Paris, India, Egypt, Scotland, Africa, Austria, Australia, Russia, Ozark Mountains AR,
snowy Vermont, NYC, Korea)
here's the site if you'd like to join in the creativity: http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php
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